Shot of Short #52: If You Eat, You Never Die by Tony Romano

Title: If You Eat, You Never Die by Tony Romano
Date Read: 15 September 2009
Available Online?: YES (as one of the stories posted by Harper Perennial on their website Fifty-Two Stories, which promises a new (or classic) short story from their collection, posted every week throughout 2009).
Briefly: Coach pops home with Giacomo Cummings to tell his mum (Giacomo’s) that he needs to cut down on his food to make the team. An easy task in theory, but telling an Italian mother that her son can’t eat? Good luck with that Coach! 🙂
Afterthoughts: When you serve up as many short stories as Fifty Two Stories have so far (37) it’s difficult to please all of the people all of the time, and this time around I read a short that I didn’t really click with. Don’t get me wrong here. Ramono’s writing ability is exquisite (anyone who can get me verbalising with an accent has got to be talented :)), but the story just didn’t really go anywhere for me, other than to show me that language and cultural barriers can make for an amusing tale. If that was Ramono’s intention then he’s succeeded, but I can tell he has the ability to write with more substance. Am I right or am I missing a key point here?
Notable Quote: “I understand most everything. I no stupid. When I come to this country, I say, “Lucia learn English. Nobody cheat Lucia.” So I go to market eh watch. I listen. I understand—no take long. But I no speak perfetto. Giacomo eh my other son, Michael, some a time they come to market. When I talk, they run away togeth eh laugh. They make ashame. So I talk loud.”

Rating: ★★½☆☆

*Story read as part of my 100 Shots of Short reading challenge.

About Rob

Rob, a self-confessed bibliophile, is without any hope of rehabilitation. He gets unnaturally excited over anything book-shaped, and if book sniffing were a crime then he would have been locked up years ago (which wouldn't bother him in the slightest provided his cell was lined with books).